Life lesson; Stop comparing yourself with others

 *Comparing yourself with others* 

Everyone knows we shouldn't compare ourselves to others still we never miss opportunity to compare ourselves with others. It may be marked in exams, playing for the college team, having a girlfriend, Facebook likes — the number of categories in which we can compare ourselves to others are infinite. Actually when we compare to other students, we compare the results not the talent, skill or effort of that student. Comparison can have positive effect but maximum time it has negative effect. 

 *In short...* Aim of comparison is to improve ourselves 

🔴 *Why do we compare ourselves?* 

🔹 Brought up 

From early childhood, we had been compare to our siblings or friends by their parents 

🔹 Education system 

Our education system promote comparison as source of motivation like exam results 

🔹 Deep rooted insecurities

Some students want to be on top by wishing everyone should do badly

🔹 You don't know what you want yourself 

Even if you are doing well in badminton and your friend achieved something more in squash than you wish to play squash rather than badminton. 

🔹 Social media putting pressure to compare yourself with others. 

 *In short...* Don't compare yourself to others.... That's the battle you can never win

🔴 *Advantages of comparison* 

Comparison can be a great source of motivation to achieve something great or try something out of comfort zone 

🔹 You can try something greater because someone else had done it 

🔹 A clear pathway to success because you have a role model who is ready to share his blueprint of hard work.

 *In short....* More positive growth in you as it reminds you that you have what it takes two to achieve that same accomplishment. 

🔴 *Disadvantages of comparison* 

It is natural to compare yourself with others and even envy them. But when you become obsessed with your deficiencies, this can be debilitating.... 

🔹 Make us unhappy 

Comparison yourself to others only make you unhappy and bring you lot of pain

🔹 Jealousy & resentment 

Some students envy others and sometimes waste power of prayer by wishing for their failure. 

🔹 Rob our precious time 

All these are self talk means waste of time 

🔹 Focus on wrong things 

When you compare, you focus on the wrong student. Actually you should focus on yourself. 

 *In short...* Constant comparison with other leads to loss of confidence, dignity & self-worth 

🔴 *How to stop comparison?* 

If comparison makes you feel worthless and demoralized and you resent others for what they have than it's time to stop comparison and follow following techniques 

🔹 Practice gratitude 

🔹 Focus on cooperation rather than competition 

🔹 Create own definition of success 

🔹 Self comparison 

 *In short...* The flower does not think of competition to the flower next to it, it just blooms. 

❇️ Practice gratitude 

     -------------------------------

Quoting Mahatma Gandhi.... I was sad because I have no shoes one day than I saw a person without legs. 

🔹 We all have complains in life and no one in this world got everything 

🔹 Rather than comparing our short come, start counting blessings like.... 

▪️ Be grateful for being a live as so many children had died because of Corona infection 

▪️ Be grateful for being born to such a wonderful parents as a lot of parents fight against poverty 

️ Be grateful for getting an opportunity to study in such a wonderful institute as a lot of students are studying at Zilla Parishad school at Taluka level. 

 *Counting blessings does not mean that you will be satisfied with low marks as one of the friends is getting less marks compared you. It is to be practice whenever you feel envy with your friend who is getting more marks than you* 

 *In short...* It is only gratitude that life becomes rich 

🔳 Why should we do it? 

🔹 Mental well-being

Life is all about focus. If you focus on the lack of things, we see more of that. Even during your success, you still feel that you deserve to get more. If you focus on the positive, we see more of it and are ready to work hard to achieve your dream. Even during a crisis, they hope that something good will come out. 

🔹 Emotional well-being

Being grateful puts you into a state of abundance with the belief that you're thankful for whatever you have. As we are happy with our life and ready to work hard for next goals, it reduces stress and anxiety, ultimately leading to emotional well-being 

🔹 Social well-being 

A greater appreciation for others will definitely improves social relationship 

physical well-being

Makes you feel happier, lower blood pressure and improve sleep. 

 *In short...* Reflect upon blessing, which every man has plenty not on your past misfortune which all man has some 

🔳 How to practice gratitude in life? 

🔹 Intentionally do it 

🔹 Always count your blessings 

🔹 Stop focusing on what you don't have 

🔹 Say thank-you to people who had brought love in your life 

🔹 Say sorry if you are wrong

🔹 Refrain from gossiping or saying negative about others 

🔹 Whenever possible, help others

🔹 Open your eyes to those with less blessed 

 *In short...* Life is beautiful.... Live it, love it and work hard to accomplish your goal 

❇️ Focus on cooperation rather than competition 

If you are lucky to be a part of the best group in your institute, focus on cooperation even if you are getting less marks in the group.

🔹 Teamwork is the collaborative effort of the group to achieve a common goal in an effective manner where everyone helps each other and everyone achieves more.

🔹 Appreciate & celebrate their success and get motivated to work hard.

🔹 Get inspiration from them. Learn their way of studying to achieve your best.

 *In short...* Teamwork means together everyone achieves more

❇️ Create own definition of success 

🔹 Smart goal

You set a SMART goal according to your wish & capabilities and focus on it. Read my blog "Goal setting" on Facebook page or group... Positive parenting or watching videos on YouTube channels.... Dr Ashish Agrawal.

🔹 Stick to it 

Don't get disturb by the success of your friend in another field, stick to your plan and motivate yourself to work hard.

 *In short....* You have to stick to your gun for what your vision is

❇️ Self comparison 

      ----------------------------

Start comparing yourself to your past performance with the view to achieve more. You can target 2 to 5% more in your goal, once achieved than Sky's the limit. Even it can be used to generate new positive habits like brushing teeth in the evening or remove old bad habits like sleeping late.

🔹 Two components... 

▪️Self recording 

▪️ Self monitoring 

 *In short...* The first step to accepting yourself is to stop comparing yourself to others 

🔳 Self recording 

🔹 Record data like to study time, subject wise marks or even chapter wise mark of one particular subject 

🔹 Record specific undesirable behavior like sleeping late

🔹 Record specific behavior to reinforce like brushing teeth in evening 

🔹 Make your own calendar and write whether you completely desire task

🔹 If not, write why you fail to achieve 

 *In short...* With proper self management, anything is possible 

🔳 Self evaluation 

After a month, you can evaluate... 

🔹 Whether you had completed the task or not. If yes....

▪️ Help to understand your weak points or chapters

▪️ Plan your next short term task as per your strength and weakness as giving more time to weak chapters

🔹 Also help to understand causes of not achieving goal like watching TV intermittently.

▪️ Eliminate the root cause like detox from TV till your exam.

 *In short...* Ask yourself what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be

🔳 Advantages of self comparison

🔹 Practical & takes very little extra efforts

🔹 Provide concrete evidence

🔹 Can be used for proper evaluation & improvement 

🔹 Motivate to work better & harder

 *In short....* Good management by average student beat superior students

🙏🏻🙏🏻 *If* *you* *like* *this* *blog* , *please* *share with other friends and classmates* 

Remember..... 

Dr Ashish Agrawal, Pediatrician and expert in child behavior, education and developmental problems.

Ph: 8888126037, 7057551985

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