Peer pressure; Why are teens influence by friends for wrong choice & How to handle it

PEER PRESSURE FROM FRIENDS

As you move to higher education, you will come across a lot of new friends. You may spend more time with your friends compared to your family. You will probably develop close friendships with one or two friends or join a group of 5 to 10 students. You might feel so connected to them that they are like extended family. You will have fun with them, confide with them and will definitely get influenced by them. At your age, you will automatically come under a lot of peer or social pressure. 

🔴 *Why do you follow your friends?*

Teens give more importance to their friends' opinions rather than their own self belief or moral values. Hence, peer pressure can make you do things that they would otherwise not do. 

❇️ A strong urge to fit in

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Everyone is doing it, it could be so great that it can drive you to take a lot of wrong decisions or even risky decisions.

❇️ Fear of losing friendship 

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The fear of losing a best friend compels you to give into the pressure. You know these activities are bad, but you cannot say NO to your best friend. An activity like Smoking that begins as an adventure becomes a permanent habit. 

❇️ Curious to try new things 

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Several mental and physical changes occur during adolescent age due to rapid hormonal changes. This is the age where you want to try a lot of new things not only due to friends but also due to movies or social media. 

❇️ Others will make fun 

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We've all experienced being laughed at by our friends. If it becomes fear to an extent that you wish to avoid it at any cost then you will accept anything including bad activities of your group. 

 *In short...* We become average of 5 people with whomever we associate with 

🔴 *Effects of friendship* 

You and your friends will make a lot of decisions and you will influence each other's choices and behavior. It will have positive effect or negative effect depending upon your type of friends.

❇️ Positive effect 

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🔹 Improves education 

🔹 Improves sports 

🔹 Improves General Knowledge 

🔹 Personality development 

🔹 Social development 

❇️ Negative effects

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🔹 Addiction 

🔹 Speaking lie

🔹 Spending unnecessary money

🔹 Not attending school 

🔹 Early sexual activity 

 *In short...* It is better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction. 

🔴 *How to solve it?* 

Rather than solving bad habits, it is better to avoid it. Luck favor those who are prepared 

 *In Short...* Prevention is better than cure 

❇️ Choose friends Carefully 

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We cannot choose our relatives, but we can always choose friends.

Life is incomplete without friends. Having friends in life is essential but more important is to choose the right friends for you. 

Remember a few points while choosing friends... 

🔹 Be friendly with everyone 

🔹 Choose friends who is having following characteristics..... 

# Same goal... If your close friends are having a same goal then it helps to grow in that choice of career 

# Class toppers... Try to spend maximum time with toppers (Even if they are not best friends) as it will motivate you to work hard.

# Always choose friends who have good moral values like honesty, respect for teachers or elders, having a compassionate nature, never cheat others and able to adjust or compromise. 

This is the most important aspect while choosing friends 

# Finally they must belong to a good family background with good moral values. 

🔹 Most important... Try to spend maximum time with those who can say NO to wrong things

 *In short...* Walk with the wise, become WISE 

Walk with a fool, become FOOL

❇️ Responding to peer pressure

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Everyone knows the old saying, " If everyone is jumping from the bridge, will you jump ." Answer is NO then why you succumb to peer pressure. Knowledge is power thus knowing how to handle peer pressure will help you to deal with it.

🔳 Say NO like you mean it

 If you are offered something which you don't like, then say NO forcefully with authority.

🔹 Always keep Eye contact while saying No. 

🔹Give reason if you wish.

Example: I don't like smoking.

🔹 Back up with positive statement if you wish

Example: “I can't afford to go for a movie as I want to practice badminton for upcoming matches.”

🔹 Stay firm on your decision even everyone is doing. If you are firming for the first time then your friends will never repeat peer pressure again. Still, if peer pressure is created again, don't hesitate to state your position again & again

 *In short...* The more certain you are in refusal, the fewer people will bug you.

🔳 Make an excuse to leave

🔹 Come with the same sort of excuse. 

Example: Some friends are playing cards on money then you can explain it is wrong as our parents will feel bad if they come to know. 

🔹 Now apologize and get away as soon as possible

❇️ Anticipating peer pressure

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The act of foreseeing, expecting and taking action against possible peer pressure.

🔳 Avoid places and situations that make you uncomfortable.

Example: If you see 3 or 4 girls talking to each other in a hostel, avoid going there as it will waste your precious time. 

🔳 If you cannot avoid such a situation, plan a response

Example: If you are going for a college tour, plan to avoid some places. Attending all activities during the day and avoiding all activities at night. 

 *In short...* Only surround yourself with students who will lift you higher 

❇️ Getting support from others

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🔹 Choose a friend with similar value to spend time in such places even if he is not your best friend. 

🔹 Tell your teachers or guardian if you are not able to handle the peer pressure

 *In short...* It takes nothing to fall in line, it takes everything to stand alone

❇️ Lead by example

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Look at any legendary person, they live life what they value similarly if you don't want peer pressure, stop putting pressure on others.

🔹 Don't pressurize others.

Example: You don't feel like attending the college so allow your best friend to attend it. 

🔹 Watch out for any subtle form of pressure you may be exerting like a time pass.

Example: When you are bored by continuous study, are you spending time in others room for relaxation during your break.

 *In short...* Good student must lead by example

❇ Evaluate your friendship

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Sometimes there are problems in friendship which can be tackled but if there is a problem in behavior, attitude or personality, it is better to avoid such friends. Following are examples....

🔹 Not attending the academic session

🔹 Dropping grades in exams

🔹 Change in lifestyle like spending more time on the internet

🔹 Having new friends with different goal

In short... The fastest way to change yourself is to hang with friends who are already what you want to be

🟣 *Good family time* 

The best way to achieve your goal is to spend maximum time with your family.

🔹 Discuss everything with your parents

🔹 Ask for help if you are facing bullying from your classmates

🔹 Communicate with your parents if you have committed a mistake.

 *In short...* Time spent with family is worth every second

🙏🏻🙏🏻 *If* *you* *like* *this* *blog* , *please* *share with other friends and classmates* 

Remember..... Peer pressure is pressure you put on yourself to fit in.

Dr Ashish Agrawal, Pediatrician and expert in child behavior, education and developmental problems.

Ph: 8888126037, 7057551985

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