Is perfectionism good or bad in the education? know the facts & follow the guidelines

Perfectionism

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Does leaving unfinished drive you crazy or can't stand coming second, you may be having the attitude of a perfectionist. 

A perfectionist student is a one who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection. Perfectionists are their own worst enemy. It not only holds back from finishing what you want, sometimes it holds you back from starting. 

 *In short...* Students with a high level of perfectionism are at greater risk of failure compared to non-perfectionist.

🔴 *Causes of perfectionism*

❇️ Genetic makeup 

❇️ Upbringing 

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Some parents want the best from their children, so they are raised in environment where success is extolled and failure punished. 

❇️ School topper

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The students who are continuous school toppers are usually perfectionists. 

❇️ Comparison 

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Due to competition, students start comparing with the competitor of their level thus striving hard to make everything perfect. 

 *Real reason...* When you're rewarded all your life for being perfect and producing high quality results, it doesn't merely become a habit, it becomes your identity. That's why they struggle to break that self identity. 

🔴 *Symptoms of perfectionism* 

❇️ No room for mistake

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Such students want everything perfect.

❇️ Difficult to adjust with peer

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You have a very specific manner in which things to be done so other students avoid you in group study or activities 

❇️ All or nothing approach 

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It's either you do everything well or you didn't do at all. 

❇️ All about the end result 

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You just want end result to be perfect otherwise you'd feel annoying & devastated 

❇️ Procrastination 

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You procrastinate just to do something at the right moment

 *In short...* Perfection consists not in doing extraordinary things, but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well

🔴 *Is perfectionism bad?* 

Yes... In the long run, it is bad.

❇️ Positive aspects 

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🔹Usually topper 

🔹High self-esteem.

❇️ Negative aspects

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 🔹If they struggle in the future because of competition or incompetence in that field or new field, usually they give up. 

🔹 They can achieve success in one aspect of a life, but poor at multitasking 

🔹 They often feel frustrated while trying to meet own standards 

🔹 Over cautious like re-reading again to make sure everything is perfect 

🔹 Constantly trying to improve things by redoing it 

🔹 Avoiding trying new things and risking making mistakes 

🔹 They find difficult to finish task in time or do anything spontaneously 

🔹 Have a poor interpersonal relationships with others.

🔹 It can cause serious health problems related to stress as they are continuously worried about being perfect. 

 *In short...* Striving for excellence motivates you, striving for perfection is demoralizing

    

 🔴 *How to overcome perfectionism* ?  

❇️ Learning to recognize the problem 

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There is nothing wrong with setting high standards, but when these standards are getting in the way of work, relationships or health then it is important to reconsider that high standard. 

 *Example :* 

🔹 I AM not able to finish all my assignment in time 

🔹 If I make mistakes in front of other students, I won't able to survive humiliation 

🔹In group discussion or activity, other students avoid you 

🔹 You are suffering from headache and oral ulcer.

 *In short...* The problem with incompetence is its inability to recognize itself 

❇️ Perspective thinking 

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🔹 Self talk 

Once you realize that you are suffering from perfectionist attitude, start talking to yourself.... 

# Nobody is perfect 

# All I can do is my best

# Making mistake does not mean IAM stupid 

# It's OK to sometimes fail as everyone has a bad day sometimes 

 *In short...* Repetitive self talk is what changes your self-image 

compromising 

You can decide one main goal where you will give your best. Striving for excellence pushes you to reach your peak level of performance. For the rest of small goals, set a small target so you can achieve satisfaction of participation and do your best in one main goal. 

 *Example :* In class, you decide to join CA in which 3 subjects are important for CA and rest 3 subjects are not important, you can target only 3 subjects. 

 *In short....* Learn the wisdom of compromise as it is better to bend a little than break down 

❇️ Go for good enough 

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If you find difficulty in one main goal still you can go for good enough. Aiming for perfection winds up a project. But simply realize there is something called good enough. After you finish your project, you give much better performance in the next goal. 

 *In short...* Success is not a destination but it's pathway. 

❇️ Set a deadline 

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If you are perfectionist, you can waste a lot of time in trying to improve and polish something too much. To avoid it, set a deadline for each small target of the big goal. Best is to follow your institute and maintain the same speed as your institute. 

 *In short...* Set a deadline for task completion and use that as a focal point to finish your target on time 

❇️ Avoid Comparison 

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Never compare yourself to others, best is Self Comparison. 

Read my article "Comparison " on Facebook 'Positive Parenting' or watch the video on YouTube 'Dr Ashish Agrawal'. 

 *In short...* Be a role model for yourself 

❇️ Shape an environment around you

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Emotions are contagious so your environment. If your parents, friend or institute pressurized you for the best result and it is creating stress, you can always talk to them. 

 *In short...* ,If you are feeling pressure, always convey your concern 

❇️ Learn to handle criticism ---------------------------------------------

Perfectionists fail to handle criticism and that's why they try everything to be perfect. 

It is always easy to handle criticism.... 

🔹 Listen empathically

🔹 Assume good intentions unless proven otherwise 

🔹 Don't make excuses 

🔹 Take it as a constructive criticism and learn to understand your negative points 

🔹 Say is thank-you for feedback

 *In short...* Accept both compliments and criticism. It takes both Sun & rain for a flower to grow

❇️ Practice not holding others at your same standard 

In a group activity, even if you are perfectionist and doing exceptionally well, don't fall into the trap of expecting others to execute at the same level. Everyone has flaws and things don't always go as per your standard or expectations. You can still improve others by motivation, but they will never be perfect.

 *In short...* A great relationship is about 2 things... Appreciating the similarities and respecting the difference 

❇️ Make a cost — benefit analysis 

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Still if you think perfectionism is a way of life, take a closer look at your perfectionist attitude.... your achievements Vs negative consequences. Make a list and you may be experiencing several negative consequences. Decide accordingly. 

 *In short...* Analysis is the critical starting point of strategic thinking 

🙏🏻🙏🏻 *If* *you* *like* *this* *blog* , *please* *share with other friends and classmates* 

 *Also if you wish to give suggestions on this topic, please share with me* 

Remember..... Don't aim for perfection, Aim for better than yesterday. 

Dr Ashish Agrawal, Paediatrician and expert in child behavior, education and developmental problems.

Ph: 8888126037, 7057551985

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