BUILDING SELF BELIEVE; TIPS & ACTIVITIES TO BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE

*LACK* *OF* *SELF* *BELIEVE* 

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Self esteem is made of thoughts we have for ourselves and play major role in almost everything we do. You feel empowered & confident in the face of challenges & problems. Lack of self belief is a one of the major obstacles in the success of adolescent or teenagers. You believe that you are not competent, not very smart or not very attractive etc.. That can be changed.

🔴 *Symptoms* *of* *poor* *self* *esteem* 

❇️ Avoid difficult situation

Eg: Can I really do this? Other people are better suited for this job.

❇️ Sensitive to criticism

Eg: What will others think and say of I do it wrongly

❇️ Personalizing

You blame yourself for everything

❇️ Withdrawal from social situation

❇️ Pessimism

Such students focus more on negative aspect or worst outcome ignoring all positive aspects. They rarely use logic. 

🔴 *Benefits* *of* *good* *self* *esteem* 

❇️ Positive choices

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If you have proper goal setting, then your mind operates with the highest possible amount of receptive mind to detect opportunities.

❇️ Motivation for work hard

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It motivates you for daily excellence in your goal. Also it motivates to keep going in case of small set back

❇️ Give you freedom to do mistake

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Such students wish to try new things, so they will commit few mistakes. Not making any mistake doesn't make you better person, accepting it & learning from it makes you.

❇️ Good relationship with others

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The students with high self belief have a better relationship with peers. 

❇️ Deal with difficult situation

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It stimulates reasoning & creativity making it more likely to find solution

🔴 *How* *to* *improve* *self* *esteem* ?

The ideal way to develop self-esteem is thinking positively, challenging yourself and trying it whenever you can create or get opportunity. *Remember* .... Everything is possible including developing positive self belief. 

*Note: To develop self-esteem, you should read other articles of my blog (not started), join Facebook... Tayari jeet ki or watch video on Youtube.... Dr Ashish Agrawal. Articles include Principle* of success *{Goal, Planning, Motivation & Hard work} , obstacles in success {Distraction, Poor time management, Procrastination, Perfectionism, Fear of failure, Friend circle, Social media & Conflicts with near & dear one.} and Recharge yourself {Study time, Sleep, Diet, Exercise & Recreational activity}. All this topic is interrelated*

❇️ Get to know yourself

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The biggest enemy of poor self belief are your own thoughts. Get to know yourself so start writing positive and negative point about yourself in your own diary. When you write about negative points, also write whether they are real limitations or not and why do you think so. Similarly, think about the good things about yourself, the things you like and how can you improve. 

 *In* *short* ... Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom

❇️ Positive self talk

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The only person whose opinion matters the most is your own thought or self talk. Self talk is internal dialogue, everyone does.. Willingly or unwillingly. It is influenced by our sub conscious brain and it reveals your thought, belief, ideas & question. Research shows positive self talk enhances your performance and vice versa for negative self talk.

Eg: If there is a discussion in a class where every student gets an opportunity to speak if they wish.... There are normally Two sets of thought in a person:

# I have never done this before and it will look foolish if I speak something wrong. 

# This is wonderful opportunity to do something new and will prepare extra, so I can also participate.

🔹When to do self talk

# Feeling disappointed like after result

# Feel like giving up if results are consistent low

# Feeling nervous before event like a big exam

# Feeling like I am not good in an event like participation in debate

# When someone insulted you

Remember... Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening

🔹How to stop negative self talk

# Identify negative self talk immediately. Is it becoming negative? How can I turn around.

# Say STOP

As you realize negative self talk, shout on yourself by saying Stop. Saying in loud voice is a powerful way to stop your thought process. 

# Addressing oneself in a third person. Ask yourself question how to will you talk to your friend if your friend is taking negatively.

# Change your position

Talk to yourself as you are trying to explain your friend to look forward and work hard.

# Most important

Telling yourself what to do is better than just telling I can do it. E.g.,: If you can't play bouncer ball in cricket, say I will practice intentionally bouncer ball for next 1 week.

 *In* *short* ... If we can encourage and talk positively with our friend. Why we can't talk to ourselves 

❇️ Focus on one negative point

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If you get 60% score in an exam and then if you set 95% as your target, then you will fail and get discouraged. Instead, set a goal which is more achievable like 2 to 5% increase and hit the bulls eye. Then set little harder target like 5 to 8% more and sky is limit. The more you achieve on your negative point, the more your self belief will increase.

 *In* *short* ... Arriving at one goal is starting point of another

❇️ Change a habit

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Sometimes, You may want to change a small habit which is worth, but you are not able to do it; like washing before eating or brushing teeth before sleep. Try one new habit at a time. Do it for a month (Read my article on subconscious mind), once you accomplish it ... You will feel like having million rupees.

 *In* *short* ... The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting . the old but on building new.

❇️ Try something new

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Once a while try something new like learning dance or jumping from height during vacation under professional guidance. It will boost your self believe.

 *In* *short* .... Learn something new, convince yourself that you have no limit.

❇️ Increase competence

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 you feel more competent in things in which you are already well at, by practicing and working smartly. Practice with proper planning makes you perfect.

 *In* *short* ... To be competitive, build your competence.

❇️ Focus on solution

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Always remind yourself to focus on solution rather than problem.

# I can't understand Physics, so how can you solve that. OK.. I will pick up easy chapter and focus on easy chapter initially.

# I can't dance in a group, so what's the solution. OK... I will dance at my home by watching TV

Once you start focusing on solution, you will find the solution. You can take help of someone who is good or expert teacher in that problem.

 *In* *short* ... If every problem has solution than why not focus on solution rather than problem

❇️ Volunteer

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Whenever you get opportunity to participate, be volunteer there. You may not be main person to conduct event, still take small responsibility & participate.

 *In* *short* ....I shall participate, I shall contribute And in doing so, I will be the gainer

❇️ Groom yourself

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If you do proper shave, take a shower, wear clean & neat dress (not necessarily costly) and stand straight will make a big difference in your feeling of self-image.

 *In* *short* ... Looking good improves your self-image

❇️ Help someone out

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Whenever you get an opportunity, don't miss it to help others as it gives us a sense of purpose, satisfaction and happiness thus creating positive energy.

 *In* *short* ... We rise by lifting others.

 *🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 If you like this article or want to contribute more, please send your message and share with your friends & family* .

*Dr* *Ashish* *Agrawal* , Pediatrician and expert in child behavior, education and developmental problems.

Ph: 8888126037, 7057551985

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     Dr Ashish Agrawal